Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Wednesday is for Song and Dance!!!


Hey hey smutlings! Sorry for no blog post yesterday... it's been a craaaazy week at work. I know, I know, no excuses... sowwwwy :(

Anywhoo, I'm just watching So You Think You Can Dance right now, and the crazies have already showed up. So far, quirky, bendy Tony does some weird fumbly number to Footloose, and not only is he told that his performance was "baaaaaaaaaaa-aaaa-aaaaad" by Tyce Diorio, he passes out from exhaustion and is tended to by medics! YESSSSSSS!!! You can't PAY for this shit if you tried!

But speaking of all things artsy, tonight there's a documentary on the making of the FANTASTIC new Tony-award winning Broadway musical, "IN THE HEIGHTS" on PBS! (Check your local listings, yo!). Definitely one of my favourite Broadway shows! Not only did I have the pleasure of seeing this amazing latinolicious show in January, I even got to meet the composer/star of In The Heights, Lin-Manuel Miranda! It was like a dream come true for me...such an inspiration. He is such an awesome person, and such an amazing talent... goes to show that with hard work and determination, dreams do come true.

WATCH THIS DOCUMENTARY, AND GO TO NYC AND WATCH THIS SHOW!!!

Click HERE to go to the PBS Great Performances website!

Here's the trailer for the documentary, In The Heights: Chasing Broadway Dreams



Check out the official website for IN THE HEIGHTS! (Click on the banner below!)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Battle o' the touchscreens hits Canada!!!


Whoooooaaaaaa! Things are gettin' hot in herre! I am gettin' too hot, I wanna take my clothes off! Well, not exactly. But the seXXXiness coming to cellphone carriers up here is gonna make this summer a HAWT one for sure!

Time to pit the big touchscreen smartphones against each other! No holds barred! Meow!!!

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!

Bell just announced that they'll be providing the seXXXy Palm Pre. WOOT WOOT! And last week, Rogers announced that they'll be introducing not one, but TWO Google Android phones, the HTC Dream and the HTC Magic on June 2! WOW. WOW. WOW. Can Canada handle such tech in such a short period of time?!?

HELLS YEAH! IT'S ABOUT FRIGGIN' TIME!!!

Add to that rumours of new iPhone and the BlackBerry Storm 2 about to pounce this summer... Canada, you're gonna have some choosing to do! AND WE LIKE IT!!! TASTY!!!

Now if we could only have more cellphone carriers to choose from...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I'm having a Susan- F*CKING-Boyle moment...


Bonjour, smut-monchichis! Just reporting back on the events of the weekend. Well, the Pam Ann show was OFF DA HOOK in the laughs department. It definitely kept the gals and the gays rollin' in stitches in the aisles. Watching the show from the front row was extra special, especially since she dubbed the first two rows as "first class". Hehe. But definitely, if Pam arrives in your city, you definitely need to purchase a ticket to fly aboard her AirBus of laughs.

But TODAY, I got to check out the regional production of Les Miserables put on by the Arts Club Theatre at the Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage... a production that I affectionately call "Les Miz Lite". LOL. But all joking aside, they did an amazing job of this Broadway juggernaut on such a small stage... The production value was top notch high. The actors were well casted. Two standouts though: the dudes who play Inspector Javert and Enjolras... AMAZING. And the guy who played Mr. 24601, aka. Jean Valjean, had nice vocals... he definitely brought it home with his rendition of, you guessed it, Bring Him Home.

Now all positivity aside, you know I'm gonna hone in on the flaws... Shut up, you LOVE it, smutlings! LOL. But to tell you the truth, I only have two major ones... well, maybe two and a half. ;-) One gripe I really had with the production was that due to space constraints, the music was piped in over the loudspeakers from the orchestra musicians making sweet, sweet muziks in an unused store room in the back of the theatre. I remember having this problem when they did the same thing with their previous staging of the other Schonberg/Boublil mega-musical, Miss Saigon, a few years back. The sound was very tin-can sounding, like it was playing from those cheap, white iPod earbuds an AM radio somewhere backstage, and at times it competed with the miked vocals, which made it hard to hear what the actors were sing-speaking. Not so great when you need HUGE sounding orchestrations highlighting the dramatic moments of the show. But the rousing ensemble performances, with their voices soaring to great heights during the more dramatic showstopping moments, made up for the craptacular acoustics of the piped-in orchestrations.

The other mini-fail is what I like to refer as the "Arts Club requisite End of Act Two cheesy special effect moment". If any of y'all saw their mounting of Disney's Beauty and the Beast and recall the transformation scene, you know what I'm talking about... yeah, absolute fromage that REEKED! PEEEEEEE UUUUUU, that was bad! Now without spoiling what it was in this show... let's just say it involves Javert somehow... and like Javert's fate, you know it ain't pretty...

(The half gripe I had was with Eponine. She could hit the notes, but she was a bit too squeaky for my taste. As in mouse-squeaky. Now Cosette, on the other hand... her voice was IMMACULATE! GORGEOUS! Now gurls, based on pristine vocal ability, you can see why Marius picked Cosette over Eponine... well, besides being a hotter piece of ass prettier than Eponine. Plus Cosette had money, whereas Eponine was broke-ass. Yep, you do the math. You know it's true.)

But yeah, go see the show. See it to support a great cast, and to support local theatre. See it cuz you'll actually hear that f*cking overplayed Susan Boyle song that has been smeared all over the interweb in its theatrical context, and you may shed a tear or two. Or you might just laugh at the cheesetastic end-of-Act-Two special effect moment (I know we all did! HAHA!) or at the musical meloDRAMA-lama that only Schonberg and Boublil can dish out on stage! Much fun for all!

Click HERE to buy tickets for Les Miz, or for any of the Arts Club shows!

Alas, how I wish my life were a musical... But life has killed the dream I dreamed. Ugh.

Adieu for now, mes amis!

Master(of the house)Jay

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Now arriving in Sunny Vancity... PAM ANN!!!


Hey hey, smut hipsters, 

Today is such an AMAZING day, weather-wise in Vancouver. The sun is out, it's warm, the patios are full of people soaking up the sun and sights over bevvies... this is what living in this city is all about! 

So my plans on such a lovely day? Hmm, well let's see. After running some errands, I'll be picking up my sister's pomeranian this afternoon from Mestisos Pet Spa on Oak Street and running it back to my parent's house in da hood (aka. Surrey). Then it's a quick jaunt back to Vancouver to see the highLARIOUS Pam Ann at the Granville Island Stage tonight! Yes, the cabin crew comedienne is bringing her mile high laughs to this international destination... so buckle up, it's gonna be a sexxxy ride!

Here's a clip of one of Pam Ann's signature skits! Enjoy, smutties!


Friday, May 22, 2009

Science of Smut Blog-O-The-Day!!!


Hey hey consumers of da smut fantastic, here's the SoS Blog-O-The-Day!

It's from my fellow stylista and fashion crusader friend, The Starving Stylist!!!

Now Gurl LOOOOOVES his labels, and Gurl KNOWS his fashion, so he be tellin you STRAIGHT TO YO FACE about your poor choices in clothes and accessories (you can't hide... we can smell if you've been sportin' those stank-ass Crocs while out in public), and he be tellin you about what you SHOULD be wearing.

PREACH!!!

The Starving Stylist

SeXXXy Gadget Du Jour!


Hey hey hey, smutwhores! It's time for the SeXXXy Gadget Du Jour! And this time, it's a game! It's a game designed to get you off your fat asses couch and work yo BAHDAY!

Cue Jazzercise music!

It's EA SPORTS ACTIVE for the Nintendo Wii! Yay!

Just in time for summer, this game comes along which includes a leg strap that holds the Wii nunchuk controller for certain exercises, along with a resistance band to do those sexxxy toning exercises such as bicep curls (ooh, tasty!). You can even use it with the Wii Balance Board (that comes with Wii Fit), but you don't need to use it.

I picked this puppy up at HMV on Robson and Burrard last night for $59.99 (so far that's the cheapest I've seen it), and I signed up to do the 30-day challenge. I did a late night workout, and boy was I sweating! Being the nerd that I am, I used it with the Wii Balance Board, and it was engaging. There's lots of videos that guide you as to how to do each exercise properly, and it tells you how much calories you've burned. There's even a journal that asks you questions about what you ate, how much water you consumed, number of hours of sleep, and any other physical activity you did for that day. Also, it's fully customizable so you can create custom workouts.

The only criticism I have so far is that I found the resistance band to be a bit on the flimsy side, so those of you packin' huge bulging guns (i.e. biceps), you might want to invest in a slightly more durable resistance band. But since I have absolutely NO upper body strength whatsoever, this wimpy band is just what I need. Ugh, the shame.

Anywhoo, I'll keep y'all up to date about workin' on my fitness over the next month. I wanna look ABTACULAR! (Or at least have a flat stomach like Kara DioGuardi... perhaps I should shop for a bikini and work on singing "Vision of Love" for full effect? Hmm...)

***UPDATE*** I popped into HMV on Robson and Burrard tonight (Friday, May 22). The price has jumped up to $64.99. Wow, what a difference a day makes!

F is for Friday! F-ING FANTASTIC!

Hey hey, y'all. I'm just happy to report that I've made it through another week! Yippee! Now that the mighty dustcloud surrounding the whole American Idol "shocker" has somewhat settled down, another pop-juggernaut from the Idol machine has wasted no time and has hit the road running. Yes, it's officially "So You Think You Can Dance?" time again. But I committed a pop-smutling crime... I didn't watch it last night! Now I know what you're thinking..."OMG?!? Like, WTF, Jay?!? Who is gonna explain to me the crazy that SYTYCD brings?!?". Well fear not! I've taped that puppy using my handy-dandy PVR, silly monkeys! I'll get back to the crazy as soon as I've indulged in some heftily-choreographed reality show smut. And I'll deliver! Trust.

(For those who are wondering WHY I committed such a pop-cultch violation, I was having a lovely dinner date last night... and NO, I won't go into the details! I love the gossip as much as y'all do, but my biznass is MY BIZNASS. A gurl's gotta keep some of her secrets secret, mmm kay? It's part of the allure that is Jay...)

Anywhoo, gotta check my email. Will be back with my SeXXXy Gadget Du Jour! Woot woot!

Luv ya, smutlings!

MasterJay