Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My duel with the KFC Double Down... Ugh, I need a cleanse...

Hey hey, smutlings! So I decided to give in to my fried chicken cravings and bought the KFC Double Down sandwich, which finally debuted in Canada. I approached the KFC location on Davie Street here in Vancouver like I was entering a seedy stripjoint... constantly looking around and checking over my shoulder to see if no one would notice my shameful chicken indiscretion. But I was actually surprised at the sheer numbers of people inside KFC who were buying the Double Down. I had to wait about 15 minutes for my sandwich to arrive! Yes, I waited that long. There were so many orders for the diabolical sandwich that you could tell the people in the back were struggling to keep up with the demand!

Anyway, my sandwich finally arrived. Here's a photo that I tweeted earlier of the Double Down (FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!):

The actual sandwich was smaller than I thought it would be. For something to sport such a high calorie, fat and salt content, you'd expect it to be this to be behemoth of a sandwich. But nope. It's no bigger than a piece of KFC chicken. It is quite thick though. The label on the wrapper that enveloped the Double Down read "Caution: Hot". And they weren't kidding! It was SCALDING hot. If you dare attempt to eat this thing, it's best to wait for several minutes before taking the plunge.

Sandwiched between the two deep fried chicken breasts were two slices of bacon, two slices of pepperjack cheese and a tangy special sauce. The first thought that popped into my head as I bit into this thing = SALTY! It was so salty that I could feel the salt stripping the tastebuds from my tongue. I desperately needed a tall glass of water to wash the saltiness from my mouth after biting into it. But what about the pepperjack cheese? The bacon? The sauce? Well, the cheese and the sauce were quite tasty; however the overwhelming saltiness of the sandwich completely overpowered any taste of bacon. Quite frankly, I I thought to myself "what's the point of having bacon in this sandwich?". And then it hit me; the bacon just adds more allure to this thing. Two fried chicken breasts + cheese + sauce = cheap-ass chicken cordon bleu. Two fried chicken breasts + cheese + sauce + BACON = SINFUL & INDULGENT. And you know, smutlings, I'll take sinful and indulgent any day. So bring on the bacon!

Now my friend Aaron popped in to the KFC to witness me eating this monstrosity of a chicken sandwich, and he bravely took a bite. He didn't like it at all. He agreed that it was too salty, and he felt it wasn't that great. I beg to differ. It wasn't as orgasmic a taste sensation as I'd hoped, but it did have some redeeming qualities that I thought were worthy of at least one trip down the cardiac bypass expressway. The cheese and the sauce were definite winners, and the quality of the chicken breast filets was really good. Those were some meaty and juicy breasts! And this is coming from a gay man! Hehe.

Oh yeah, make sure to get lots of napkins before you eat this thing; you're gonna need 'em. Here's the aftermath of my gluttonous gobblefest. (Gawd, I can't believe I actually ate this thing! Ugh, the shame...):

Love it or loathe it, KFC definitely has a best seller on its hands here. I predict that the Double Down will (unfortunately) prove to be so popular with late night clubgoers and potheads everywhere that it will eventually become a permanent fixture on the menu. And when that happens, expect the landscape of Canadian waistlines to change forever. Lord have mercy on our arteries...

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